For Phase 1 of English 110, we were asked to write about our personal experiences with language and literacy. Initially it was difficult to come up with a memory but after a while I thought about experiences when I was younger. This essay includes a cover letter, the narrative, and 2 multimedia pieces.

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Dear Professor McManus, 

My name is Rosemary Delgado, I come from an Ecuadorian lineage and am raised by a single mother, and because I was raised strictly speaking Spanish in my early years, I had difficulty adjusting to English. I do appreciate the Hispanic heritage I was given but it’s been difficult to go back to it because I’ve been “Americanized.” Americanized through language, writing, music, and speech I no longer feel the comfortability or the need to speak in my native tongue. Through this writing class that at first, I saw as being difficult for me because I tend to not like my English based classes, I’ve learned to be creative and was given a prompt that looked hard to understand. Through the lectures of breaking the question down and using stories and videos, that were all based on the same topic I was able to quickly comprehend what the question was asking and I knew exactly what I had to write about: my struggle in learning a new language. Now I would have to find the moment that I could expand upon and talk about education standardization and the lack of languages being spoken and taught in schools. 

I’ve always been one to struggle in the English department throughout my years of education. I never thought of taking AP English before until Junior year I decided I should try it out. It was a new element for me, everything was fast pace and all the students analytical and smart. In this class we’d write professional looking papers with evidence and I’d not find these interesting to read. I’d prefer when we were asked to write about ourselves because then the students would get out of their professional side and tell their own stories. Although I liked reading these types of essays, I had the most trouble finding a topic about myself that people would find interesting. For this narrative I went through multiple topics before I could choose this one. In every topic I would write and let everything out, but this memory seemed more relatable and easier to expand upon, plus writing about the struggle of adjusting to a new language had greater analysis to it and there could be multiple interpretations.  

My narrative displays a memory that I have about a literacy test which has changed my way of thinking about the education system towards students who have English as their second language in their early years. I use a few Spanish words to show my difficulty of shifting between languages. I’ve incorporated descriptive language into my story in order for the reader to feel the same way that I felt. Thank you for your time and consideration and I hope you enjoy my take on language and literacy.  

Sincerely, 

Rosemary 

As a kid learning to speak specifically pronouncing larger words was difficult, there are just so many syllables. Coming from a Spanish speaking home my first language is Spanish, and the placement and pronunciation of words is completely different than English. You’d hear the mispronunciation of the number three as “tree” or ask as “axe” or in my case papel de baño as paper toilet. It can be embarrassing when you pronounce something wrong and everyone laughs at you, this could have been the origins of my fear of public speaking. There are positives to this experience as I think before I say something which can save me from embarrassment. I strategically use words that I know I will pronounce properly, making my vocabulary small. 

 One of my earliest childhood memories took place at my elementary school, first grade was a struggle, my grades definitely depleted, it was a shift from playing and learning to strictly learning. Tests became important and so did grades. An exam called a literacy test took place once a month, this test examined a student’s reading and speaking skills, two of my worst qualities. Considering the fact Spanish is my first language I would struggle with pronouncing the big words. I can remember my name being called and being escorted into a small room by a teacher. Sitting on a chair holding a thin book with a sticker labeled L, all the other 3^rd graders were at reading level P. I began to read hesitantly dragging my finger below the words to not lose my place, focusing on every word I did not know. I would be asked to repeat a word and when I said it wrong again the teacher would quickly scribble on her piece of paper, which only made me even more anxious. The literacy test wasn’t over, I would then be asked reading comprehension questions after and because I put all my focus on just reading the words correctly, I never knew the answers. I would re-read in my head, slowly trying to find the answer. The teacher staring and waiting for a response made me feel uneasy. After I’d look up to see if the teacher was satisfied with my response. Every time it was the end, I’d think I for sure failed, but I always managed to pass by the smallest percentile.  

These literacy tests strengthened my English but also kept this feeling of anxiety within me. I hated English tests no matter of what they consisted of, picking from a selection of multiple choices about a text was difficult for me and it made no sense to me, especially when we are on a time limit. What would I learn from picking A, B, C, or D and filling in a scantron that ultimately would be scanned with a computer and uploaded to the grade book? Just seeing my grade becoming a smaller number as a kid was saddening because it showed no improvement. I got 2 out of 4 continuously in every grade and received no extra help in my elementary school. I eventually understood the significance of having those literacy & language tests because they helped learn the language we speak in the US: English. However, for people who have English as their second language it marked us as ESL which I remember wasn’t something someone would want to be called. English isn’t the only language I hear on the streets I hear Spanish, Polish, Chinese, German, and many more that aren’t talked about. I’ve heard various people speak about the fact that they don’t know their native language or have simply forgotten. Children who come from immigrant parents have adjusted to purely speaking English and eventually the native language that is in their family tree will become extinct after generations.  

Although English was difficult to learn the transition to speak Spanish was proven even more difficult. English became my primary language as I began to learn it better, Spanish started to fade away. Communicating with family who mainly spoke Spanish was hard because I’d speak Spanglish or “broken Spanish.” I’d lost sight of my Hispanic heritage and everything I would say came out with an American accent, I sounded like a tourist or a gringa as the Hispanics would say. My mom would take us on vacation to Ecuador every few years and we were forced to speak Spanish 24/7 otherwise no one could understand us, or we’d be talking to ourselves, which wasn’t fun. Speaking Spanish constantly made it feel like home all the time, and it strengthened my understanding of the language. I appreciated the language and its intricacy. It differs from English, but some words sound similar like embarrassed sounds like embarazada, which I can tell you they don’t mean the same thing. I still had that thick American accent and when I’d be reminded of it by a stranger I felt like an outsider. I disliked the fact that America pulled me away from my roots and “Americanized” me to the point I’m unrecognizable to native Ecuadorians. In Ecuador everyone and I mean everyone even if they are a stranger greet each other and ask how their day has gone. There is a lot of kindness and the cuencano accent is soothing to hear, especially from my grandma, or rather my Mamita. The only words that I continuously say in my everyday life are Tia because saying aunt doesn’t sound right and referring to my grandma as Mamita. I truly believe that language and culture are embedded into one each other and when one is lost the other one fades away.  

Multimedia:

“Going to a country where you don’t speak the language is like wading into the sea when you can’t swim – it’s intimidating at first, not impossible, and ultimately manageable.” 
― Stewart Stafford